I realize that it is highly unlikely that any of the TSA employees working at Norfolk International Airport will read this blog, so I am pretty sure that I will have to deal with the ridiculous new security requirements when I attempt to get on my flight. As everyone knows, I will have two choices when going through security - I can agree to have a full body scan taken (which will most likely viewed by a fifty year old, twice-divorced, mustache-sportin' man wearing glasses purchased back in 1993) OR agree to a "pat-down" by a TSA employee (most likely a forty-five year old overweight woman with a buzz cut and pants that are two sizes too small), during which I plan to ask if she thinks she should have bought me dinner first before getting to second base with me in public.
It seems like everyone in the country (besides all those lucky TSA employees) agrees that there must be better ways of protecting airline passengers (and everyone else for that matter) from terrorist attacks. Some are proposing that we embrace terrorist profiling in airport security. This would only work if we quit pretending that most terrorists don't share certain characteristics. Let me think back to the last time a twenty-four year old, blonde haired, blue eyed, Christian female student tried to blow up a jet...hmmm maybe I am forgetting something, but nothing is coming to mind. But if we start outwardly profiling people someone is sure to be offended, right? Lest we forget that stereotypes are usually stereotypes for a reason.
While profiling may be effective, I think there might be a better way even still.
And now that 94% of people reading this blog have been offended in some way, let me offer my solution to the airport security woes that face us all in this upcoming holiday season. When people are going through security, we should simply have TSA officials ask everyone the question, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" If a terrorist is planning on blowing himself up on that flight he would have no answer! I think our best bet is to catch them off-guard. Alright, maybe its not a good long-term plan but I think it could work for awhile. You have to admit, it would be better to share your 5-year plan with a TSA employee than to lose your dignity to a TSA employee.
Does anyone have any better solutions out there?
3 comments:
I like your solution, but do you think that there is a risk in having TSA Agents ask people what their plans are in 5 years?
That risk being the following: 1) TSA Agents already have to deal with snobby people as they fly away to warmer and more exotic places leaving the poor TSA Agent behind digging through other peoples' dirty socks and undies and dealing with people's sweaty shoes as they pass through the metal detectors. 2) given (1), now you ask them to ask you what your 5-year plan is... I'm guessing no one is going to say "I plan on being a TSA Agent." Given the nature of (1), and the high probability of (2), I predict 3) deep resentment resulting in either (a) an immediate walk-out of the TSA Agent on his/her job; b) an increased rate in TSA Agent disgruntalment; c) a former TSA Agent recovery program.
Again, I like your idea, but think of the Agents, please.
I kind of like the thought of lie detector tests before all flights... just saying
love the profiling though haha
How about behavioral profiling? like buying a ticket with cash, traveling alone, buying a one-way ticket...those profiles indicate drug smuggling-dunno if they're good for terrorist plans.
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